When does God visit you?

When he comes out of the blue

A meteroite shattering your home,
Be sure God is visiting you.
When you are beyond all hope
When you are robbed of the whole world
and your voice becomes eloquent
Be sure God is visiting you.
– Says Tuka, Pp. 95-96

Have you ever had an extremely tiring day and collapsed on your bed only for all thought to subside in you? As the tiredness slowly takes over, it is almost like you are too tired to even think and fall into deep peaceful sleep.

As is physical tiredness so is internal tiredness. In times of deep internal destruction, I have wrestled with my thoughts and emotions until my insides hurt. Internal fatigued to my maximum, I've been at the doorstep of nothingness many a times - where you cannot see further, when there is no path. That feeling causes an internal collapse.

And that collapse leads to surrender. Surrender to the Divine. At your most powerless, most vulnerable moment is when God visits you, rendering a peace that passes mental thought and understanding. There is no room for logic. In surrender, you detach - you flow.

As I read the above words by Tukaram (thanks to a beautiful friend for introducing me to them) I became absolutely sure of Divinity's presence as it flows through every breath in my Life. Instant Peace.

Let's face it - we all sit on the fence with Divinity at times, especially when its rough seas and we feel like abandoned children left to fend for ourselves. And we question, God where are you now. God why am I going through this? God what have I done to deserve this?

Beautifully, the mystics have always spoken of embracing the pain of this world, like an old friend. And when you do, God will come visit you. When you accept the circumstances or your 'situation' you understand the difference between 'life' and 'situation' and that the 'situation' is a part of your life, not your breath of life itself.

When you completely destroyed with nowhere to turn to, take a deep breath and be aware of the breath you slowly take. Give that breath attention and know it holds the power of your life.

Not the situation you are in.


Let God visit you. Often.



© Sneha Singh 2012

The Soaked Soul

A thousand depths
I feel inside
My hollow caged frame

As I stand on the edge
Of my own body
Looking into it's valley

How deep you go
How far you run
Within, I wonder.

Sunshine of love
Mingled with clouds of sorrow
Give birth to a laughing rainbow
Originating from
My tear soaked soul.

(c) Sneha Singh 2012

Dormant Volcano

Trying to lay still
Motionless
As a fire engulfs me inside
Trying to run
From my own self
No place to hide.

Calm, serene externally
My insides churn each moment
Shattered, strewn,
Torn apart
There's a million pieces to gather.

I close my eyes and look inside
Knowing not where to begin
So I fall to my knees
And ask You Please
Restore the peace within.

(c) Sneha Singh 2012

Eternal Sunshine of the Forgiving Heart

I write with great joy about forgiveness, but do I forgive with great joy as well? I cannot explain the transformation an internal act of forgiveness brings with it. It needn’t be spelt out or overt. Silently forgive the one who doesn’t understand your state, who betrayed you, who hurt you. It’s a long process, and not at all easy. It drains you and you will be forced to face your ego and put it to rest. It is agonizing, but the outcome is liberation, almost like a new birth. I would like to compare it to the paradox of pain and joy experienced at childbirth, but I don’t know the process to make a comparison. In my head though, the analogy fits beautifully.

In the past few years, I have felt internal shifts within me which have been difficult to spell out. Probably, because an experience that transforms a portion of you cannot be described in words. How would a caterpillar describe its metamorphosis into a butterfly? It can only experience it, and the outward world can only view the final product. What goes on within the cocoon is God’s beautiful miracle, slowly unfolding, hidden from everyone’s eyes.  

I don’t know if the world has noticed my miniscule transformations because I haven’t really asked anyone. But I know I feel them within me. As I said before, it is paradoxical, the pain of witnessing death within yourself accompanied by lightness due to disillusion of form. Watching a part of you die slowly, hurts so much as you know its time to unburden your heart and free yourself, for yourself. The beauty in this death is then that joy, which follows when one feels brand new – almost like a skin that’s moulted off you. And as much as it hurt let that part of you peel off, it is short lived. In the grander scheme of things, it is all short lived. My two favourite words to define life - fleeting and impermanent.

I know forgiveness is liberating, I have practiced it a few times, and I know from experience that it leaves you refreshed. It brings forth a new dimension in your life. Everyone and everything suddenly becomes friendly. The world once again becomes a happy place to live in. And yet, knowing this fact, I can never immediately put forgiveness into action when I know I should. I still go through the cycle of self criticism, drama, pain, self burden, anger, resentment, blaming before I am drained to tiredness and fed up of my own story. THEN I forgive. Hallelujah!

Through this piece, I am making myself aware of my own cycle and my internal desire to break free of it. And whilst I internally go through the cycle once more, I live in the truth that this is fleeting and temporary, but love is eternal and permanent. There is joy hidden in the pain, and healing within each wound.

PS – So many Rumi quotes I can feel inside me right now, but maybe those are for another day.

Love

© Sneha Singh 2012

The Awakened Heart

Intuitive intelligence never fails to surprise me. And this isn’t just my own intuitive intelligence, but the actual phenomena itself.


I have read so much about the “wisdom of the heart” or “heart intelligence” as some people tend to term it, and its proposed superiority over the intelligence of the logical brain. I cannot say I disagree with it, but I had only ever read about it so I found these propositions just very challenging to accept and even more difficult to believe. However, as I practiced heart wisdom exercises, I have noticed a shift within my own. The fact that there is a subtle power within us all, (NO EXCEPTIONS!) which is available to us as a guide on our journey here on Earth is an amazing realisation for those who come to awaken to it. If I close my eyes and imagine how I would feel if I had that realisation I would probably feel lighter, happier and one with everything.


I have had glimpses of this state, where every cell of my body has felt feather light – as if I had no weight at all. I wonder what it would be to live in this state permanently. I suppose, people who live with an awakened heart must be in this state permanently.


I will always wonder.


And of course hope. Hope that I am blessed with the Grace that would enable me to rest and live by the wisdom of the heart. And be feather light forever!

© Sneha Singh 2012

Voices

In the midst of all the uncertainty, rest. 


Rest in faith that your love will be seen, received, understood and acknowledged. Rest, knowing that, that which is real cannot be threatened. And all that is unreal, will simply fall away. Why fear, oh little one? Why fear? When the arms of the Highest Good are forever around you, why fear?

Grace has been with you at every step. Look back. Take a deep breath, let your chaos dissolve. And look back at all the times you were carried out of storms and troubles. If your true essence is Love, let it flow, let it have its way. For it will always have its way. It has not been named the most powerful force in this world for no reason. All it asks is for is trust. Unwavering faith. And with this trust comes all the courage you need to do everything that will be required of you. 

Let all that is true stay, and all else fall away.

Lord, hear my prayer.

Amen.

(Inspirations from ACIM and Khalil Gibran - both sources of immense strength)

Happy Christmas x

Pain by Gibran

"Your pain is the breaking of the shell that encloses your understanding. Even as the stone of the fruit must break, that its heart may stand in the sun, so must you know pain. And could you keep your heart in wonder at the daily miracles of your life, your pain would not seem less wondrous than your joy; And you would accept the seasons of your heart, even as you have always accepted the seasons that pass over your fields. And you would watch with serenity through the winters of your grief."


.. such beautiful words by Gibran.


If only we could let pain seep into us this way, it would never bring us down. It would never weigh in our hearts, but be our anchor that holds us in place. It would be a reminder of all the good in our lives.


If only..




© Sneha Singh 2012